Bike Shaped Objects

Funky bikes and news
 
Love-starved Lotus on eBay

The siren song of the Lotus project

Lotus EliteI want this Lotus. If I was much younger and much less wise I would bid on it. Actually, if I had a garage and a better set of tools I would be bidding on it. I’m sure my wife would eventually forgive me.

This is the kind of car that pulls in us suckers. It’s all there, mostly. The important bits are all there. OK, the engine isn’t running. But seriously, how hard can it be to get a twin-cam, dual-carb engine running again? I’m sure the needed parts are available at the local car parts store.

The seller’s description is brief and accurate, “The car is not running and nothing works.” He or she also wins points in my book for having no reserve. With three days to go the bid is just over $200. That’s not bad for what was once the most expensive 4-cyl. car in the world. (Maybe I could rent a garage and borrow some tools.)

The Elite was an attempt by Lotus to move upscale. A move that failed to gain much traction. I love the looks of this car, but many automotive critics found it ugly. The odd body however produced a drag coefficient of 0.3. That’s not bad. (I assume that number is when the headlights are down.)

Of course, early cars were plagued with problems, but most of those were worked out by 1979 when this example was built.

So somebody please buy this, because Harbor Freight has a sale on engine hoists.

Look at this on eBay http://www.ebay.com/itm/292088420693

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Ultimate Hipster Nerd Bike on eBay

How is this not a nerd bike?

nerd bikeI mostly know it’s a nerd bike because I’m a nerd, and I really want this bike. A hefty dose of nostalgic futurism and the practicality of a break-down bike.

Break-down bikes are like folding bikes that don’t fold. They break-down into smaller pieces. My wife has an electric scooter that follows this principle. It makes it easier to store. Even a folded folding bike is a pretty hefty chunk of metal to store.

The problem with this is, what happens if one of the taken-apart parts is misplaced? No more foldy riding for you.

The other issue seems to be the wear-and-tear of constantly assembling and unassembling the bike may cause.

None of those issue can make this bike any less stupid cool.

Look at this on eBay http://www.ebay.com/itm/172522251042

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Clown bike in box on eBay

I posted a clown bike before, but not in a box

clown bikeWhile not officially called a clown bike, I find no other appropriate name. These things are actually rideable. I’ve seen it done. Though that person was barely over 100 pounds, and was in fact a clown.

The box reveals some wonderful new details. It’s made in Taiwan. That generally means it is not of the worst quality. The quick-release seat post and adjustable handlebars needed no explanation.

Then you see the phrase, “Equiped with band brake.” What that means is when you pull on the brake lever, a hunk of metal is pressed down against the rear tire. On any other type of bike I would fear for the safety of the rider. But seriously, how fast can this thing go?

Finally, my favorite part:

“Meets U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission regulations for bicycles.”

Yes folks, it really is a bicycle. The government says so.

No bids yet with an opener of $19.99. Local pickup only. It’s in Anaheim, CA. That’s only 300 miles from here. How can I convince the wife we need to take a road trip to Anaheim?

Look at this on eBay http://www.ebay.com/itm/351986111389

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Manly bike on eBay

A manly bike surrounded by dust and machines.

manly bikeIt may have been sitting for some time but once this was a working man’s manly bike. Look at that saggy basket. How many tons of stuff did it carry in its career? A well-worn machine if ever there was one.

A bit of grease on the bearing, some lube on the chain and a couple new tubes and this old guy would be ready for action. I don’t thin I could bring myself to clean it up or derust it. A sacrilege. A betrayal of its heritage.

Once again my desire to have a sweet vintage ride is stirred. Once again geography denies me. The bike is in Delaware. (A state I misspell with alarming regularity.) Though my sister lives in Maryland. She has a garage.

With 5 days to go there are no bids. The $50 opener is fair and mighty tempting. Seriously, Maryland is like right next to Delaware. Right?

Look at this on eBay http://www.ebay.com/itm/292033244716

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Uber Scooter on eBay

This Scooter has it all.

uber scooterMy usual image of a scooter is little more than a skateboard with handlebars. This scooter however defies that image bigly. It’s more like a bicycle without pedals.

It has brakes and fenders, front and rear. It even has a wonderful little seat. Though I’m not sure when a seat located there would be of any use. Maybe it’s for getting aero on downhill runs.

Best of all, with five days to go, the bid is less than $13. Though I expect that will rise. Again, as seemingly always, it lives on the other side of the country.

Look at this on eBay http://www.ebay.com/itm/182452283700

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