Bike Shaped Objects

Funky bikes and news
 
Are you a cheap bike person?

There are some not-so-subtle ways of telling how suited you will be to owning a cheap bike. Answer the questions below honestly and we’ll tell you if yor are cheap bike material.

  1.  Can you not afford anything but a cheap bike?
    Yes (100 points)
    No (0 points)
  1. Are you willing and able to fix your own flat tires?
    Yes (10 points)
    No (0 points)
  1. Are you willing to endure ridicule from spandex-clad hordes?
    Yes (10 points)
    No (0 points)
  1. Are you a member of a spandex-clad horde?
    Yes (-20 points)
    No (10 points)
  1. Do you insist on owning a bike that weighs less than a cocker spaniel?
    Yes (-10 points)
    No (10 points)
  1. Are you willing to bookmark every bike seller in the universe and know why you need to know what standover height means before you ever go to a store?
    Yes (10 points)
    No (-5 points)
  1. Do you have a garage or basement where the bike can be stored at the first sign of mechanical difficulty?
    Yes (10 points)
    No (10 points)

Scoring

< 0:
Forget it. Go to the bike shop where they will hold your hand and pump your ego.

0-49:
Doesn’t look promising. You might get away with going to a big box bike store but do not buy a used bike under any circumstances.

50-99:
You are probably a cheap bike person but you have to be careful not to succumb to carbon fiber envy. Get a department store bike or look for a bargain on the web. You may even get away with a bike from Craigslist.

100-149:
Do your research, be patient and you will find a cheap bike that you will be perfectly happy owning.

150+:
Just wander the streets till you find an abandoned bike lying in a drainage ditch. A couple wet wipes, some WD-40 and a couple hours with a wire brush and you’ll have the bike of your dreams.

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